All this time
by HarrySirius
Summary: All he ever wanted was for his brother to care again. Now that he actually does, it's almost too much to bear. Almost. Spoilers for 6.12. Wincest.


**Hi everyone!**

**This is a piece I just had to do after watching 6.12. I Hope you'll enjoy !**

**Diclaimer: Not mine. All Kripke's and CW's.**

**Warnings: Wincest, NC-17**

All this time**  
**

The shabby motel just outside of Portland was like any other motel they used to share for the seemingly endless years of their life. Two Queens with worn out mattresses, off-white linen, patched up a little bit too often. The tapestry came off of the walls in every corner and the color reminded of old socks. It could have been yellow one day for all they knew. Not that they cared anyway.

Dean at least didn't. Because just about everything faded in _his_ presence. The green eyes of the older Winchester followed his every move, his ears taking in everything he said, not even catching one of the words. But that didn't matter as well, as long as Sam _kept_ talking.

"Are you with me? Dean?"

The bed shifted slightly, as Dean felt his brother sitting down next to him, a familiar warmth radiating from him, that made Dean's heart flutter just the tiniest bit. He knew that the green eyes were settled on him, gaze full of concern and a bit of curiosity. And maybe a bit of annoyance as well.

But that was okay, too. As long as Sam _was_ looking at him. _Sam._

"Dean?"

A soft hand was placed firmly on his shoulder and finally Dean turned his gaze as well, for the first time actually realizing that this was real and not some bittersweet fantasy. As his eyes met the gentle ones he hadn't seen for so long, he felt them tearing up. This was Sam, looking at him, talking to him. _His_ hand on his shoulder, a touch almost too gentle to bear. But it didn't matter if it hurt. As long as Sam never stopped touching him. Ever again.

Dean's hand was almost tender as it came to rest on his brother's cheek and he felt the younger man leaning into the touch almost instantly. For minutes they were just looking at each other, so many words unspoken, but no need to say anything at all.

And then just out of some silent agreement, both leaned forward. Sam's lips were soft under his and the emotion that welled up in Dean's heart was nearly killing him. Right until the first touch of their lips, he hadn't known just _how_ much he had missed him. This. _Them_. He had to choke back a sob, breaking the kiss ever so slightly. And just as if Sam had read his mind – or his heart for that matter – he placed a hand on the older man's neck, caressing and pulling Dean back into the kiss.

A shudder ran through his body at this and he just let himself be guided by the younger. For once in his life, Dean didn't want to take the lead. His back hit the mattress with a soft thud, as Sam pushed him down gently, running his hand over his chest and taking in every inch of his still clothed skin.

It wasn't the first time that Sam had touched him like this. Before he had been locked up in the cage, they had shared this intimacy many, many times. And even after he had come back, after Lisa and Ben. More needy and desperate than anything. And without the slightest care. But now was different. So much had changed. Never before had Dean actually felt that kind of intensity. He was aware of Sam's touch in a way, he couldn't quite grasp, couldn't describe, because there weren't just any words for it. Part of it was, because he needed to _feel_ all that was Sam out of fear that his brother would just disappear again, leaving him cold and broken. He needed to feel the reality of those touches to reassure himself that Sam was actually there, _caring_ for him and not some twisted and soul-torturing fantasy. But it were Sam's fingers that undid the buttons of his shirt ever so slowly, his lips tracing each inch of exposed skin with loving kisses. It was his mouth on his skin, hot and tender, that left his body tingling and his heart pounding.

Absentminded, his hands found their way into the silky hair of his brother, caressing the strands tenderly. It felt so good to run his fingers through Sam's hair and god, had he missed that too. His hands found his brother's face again, and Dean tugged a bit at it, forcing Sam up gently to receive another kiss. He could feel all of his brother's weight on him, and where it normally would have crushed him, he welcomed the heaviness of all that was Sam. He was desperate to feel him, to be touched by him.

They shared another tender kiss, tongues caressing each other slowly and sweetly. Ever so slowly, Dean became aware of his body's response to Sam's touching as his jeans grew tighter with each passing moment. But this wasn't about sex at all. This was about having Sam back, all of him, about being touched by him, about Sam _caring_ for him. And his brother showed him just how much. Once more, Sam's hands were travelling over Dean's body, but this time they were certain where to go. As the fingertips found the zipper of the older one's jeans, a quiet moan escaped his lips. Dean lost himself in this kind of touch and soon he found himself disposed of clothing. He hadn't even realized that Sam had gotten rid of his' as well, until he could feel the soft skin of a muscular body on his own.

His eyes shot open, wide and vulnerable, betraying him of every emotion he felt. Sam met his gaze with so much tender care that the tears that had lingered in the corner of Dean's eyes for months now finally escaped.

"Shhhh…" Sam whispered, running gentle fingers over Dean's face, into his hair.

"I'm here…" Soft lips touched skin, catching the tears as they fell silently. Simultaneously, the younger Winchester's hands travelled over his brother's body, making him shudder.

"…and I'm not going anywhere…"

Dean's lips searched for his brother's almost desperately, not wanting to feel his tears anymore. Not wanting to feel anything but Sam's touch. To feel _Sam._

He arched up to him, as his brother's hand finally reached his length, gently stroking it, making him pull in a sharp breath. It was almost too much. Dean wanted Sam's touches to last forever, but his body was already tensing up, overwhelmed. It just had been too long and he wasn't used to caring touches anymore. Sam's touches. _Sammy's…._

"I want to feel all of you…" Dean whispered, not knowing where that came from, but knowing that it was the truth. He could feel Sam's eyes lingering on him, uncertain, asking silently _'are you sure?'._ It hadn't happened often before and the older felt nearly guilty for his brother's tentativeness.

"I need to." He answered quietly, although Sam hadn't even spoken. His younger brother hesitated another second, but then simply nodded and bent down for another kiss. Dean wasn't sure whether Sam understood why he needed it so much, but it didn't really matter. If he was honest, he wasn't even sure if _he _understood. He just knew that he wanted, needed it. Sam.

"Care for me, Sammy…" he whispered, as Sam positioned him at his entrance after preparing him with utter tenderness. Green eyes widened slightly, showing uncertainty and a lack of understanding completely.

"Of course I do, Dean…" came the whispered reply. Dean could read the silent _'I love you'_ in those gentle depths and his mouth curved into a relieved smile.

"Yeah…" he sighed and closed his eyes, as Sam carefully pushed in. All his nerves welcomed the combination of pain and pleasure and above all the feeling of being filled. Whole. With Sam. It was as if they had never stopped doing this in such a way as they found their rhythm almost instantly. It was a slow rhythm, gentle, loving, _caring._ It drove them towards the ultimate bliss of being with and becoming one with the person they loved most. And being loved in return.

Dean couldn't have said how long it had taken him, or Sam, to come – or if they did at all. Because it didn't matter. Not in this night. Because it hadn't been the sex they, _he _had needed. It had been Sam. _His_ Sam.

All this time, it was Sam, Dean had been waiting for. And now, he was back. Finally.


End file.
